I have a brilliant idea. A truly, utterly brilliant idea. There is one thing that you positively, absolutely, without exception should never, ever, ever do at work. Ever. Ever in a million years, and I promise, not doing this will vastly improve your chances at being successful and taken seriously, as an employee and as a human in general.
Are you ready?
Are you stoked?
Hang on.
Wait for it. Wait for iiiiit.
Here it comes! Here's the one thing that you should never, ever do and should stop doing---IMMEDIATELY!
Ready?
All right, here goes:
Don't take a shit on the bathroom floor. No, seriously. I know it seems fun, but you just shouldn't do it. Seriously. There's no ambiguity. Everyone else will hate you. Every person who has ever wanted to use the work bathroom will hate you, forever, when they realize that the reason they were threatened with revocation of their bathroom privileges was because you TOOK A SHIT ON THE FLOOR.
And then told everybody.
Giggling.
As if we didn't already know that you'd done it.
P.S. It's not cute. No, seriously.
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